We are constantly challenged by aggressive and intimidating individuals. ETFO Provincial recently released a PRS memo to reminds us that it is important to understand the behaviour of threatening people and learn how to respond. If you normally respond passively to such individuals because you fear reprisal, or rejection you become the victim and the situation will worsen. Don't give such people power over you! If you do nothing your stress level can lead to more serious issues for you and your students. Prolonged stress causes poor performance, moodiness, relationship issues, and physical illness. You may not be able to change the "bully" but you certainly can and need to change the negative impact they are having on you!
Difference Between Assertive and Aggressive Behaviour
The Dictionary defines aggression as:
1) Any unprovoked attack.
2) An act of attitude of hostility, usually arising from feelings of inferiority or frustration.
Aggression makes some individuals feel better by forcing their point of view on others, hurting their feelings, and building resentment. As teachers, we intervene in student bullying situations. Yet some of us allow ourselves to be emotionally devastated by a colleague treating us the same way.
The Dictionary defines assertion as:
1) A positive statement; declaration.
2) An insisting on one's right, a claim, etc.
To assert one's self means to put oneself forward; make oneself noticed, and insist on one's rights. An assertive person is able to stand up to others and deal with each issue at hand. Assertiveness skills can be learned and will not only resolve many interpersonal problems but will build confidence, self-respect, and improved relationships with peers.
What not to do: remain passive
Occasional and probationary teachers often state that they fear an unsatisfactory evaluation from an intimidating principal. Others do not want to be alienated on staff, or assume their peers know how they are feeling! To this, we say "beware of assumptions that have not been checked out". Contact your Federation to discuss the situation. Be careful not to confuse "keeping the peace" with remaining "passive".
What not to do: fight aggression with aggression
Think twice. How is this going to end up? Aggression is emotion out of control.
Your intent should be to move forward to a more positive working environment.
You will always encounter people who have to argue about everything and impose their views aggressively on others. However, there is another kind of person who calmly and confidently asserts themselves without hurting others. Which do you want to be?
ETFO THAMES VALLEY OCCASIONAL TEACHERS' LOCAL
